The Nature of Things

Changes happen all the time in life. You just can’t help it. We are tossed around by our emotions with little control over it. We see things differently one day than we did the day before, and the same goes with people. We cannot choose what changes occur, but we can choose how we meet those changes. We can choose how we react to and deal with those changes and in that way a great portion of our character is defined.
A friend is one of the most important things you will ever have in your life. When we die, our value is measured by how many true friends we left behind. The most successful businessman in the world is nothing without friends to guide and support him because like it or not, our friends shape who we are. We are changed and altered every day by our friends in both big and small ways. Friends help one another through almost every act they perform in friendship. A friend is helping you when they hang out with you because they are giving you a good time and good memories. A friend is helping you when they give you advice because they are giving you guidance as we walk through the turmoil called life. Because friends are so important, we go to great lengths to ensure these friends stay friends. It is a two-way street. When a friend helps you, you turn around and help them, even if it is in the smallest way possible. Semper Fidelis is the motto of the Marine Corps and in many ways it is the motto by which we should live our life. Semper Fidelis means “Always Faithful”. No matter what, we stick by our friends. We may not always approve of the decisions made by our friends, but we never forsake them. As a friend it is our job to be always faithful. It is our job to help our friends through whatever is thrown at us. If we don’t like the decision made by a friend we explain it, and we offer them an opinion, but NEVER do we turn our backs on them. We don’t have to approve of a friend’s decision, but what we do have to do is accept it. We can attempt to persuade them otherwise, to see our point of view, but in the end, when the decision is made, we accept it. We move on, because friends are always faithful.

- The head yearns to understand what the soul feels. It wonders why the heart stops when your gaze is met. It seeks to stop the knees from shaking when you pass. It doesn’t know why the tongue delights in saying your name. There are things the head can’t explain, things that beg for words but can’t find the right ones. When the head is at a loss, we turn to the soul. That which explains all. That which never lies. -

Everywhere we go, we hear someone complaining about their girlfriend or boyfriend. We ourselves may even be that person from time to time. Some argue openly, some are better at hiding it. It’s easy to fake happiness in public, but you can’t escape what lies underneath. Happy relationships are few and far in between, and people all over, from teenagers to adults, grope around in the dark abyss that holds the secrets to love and happiness. I’d like to offer an idea. It’s simply a weak flashlight in an otherwise impenetrable chasm, but one that may help to find the way.

Robert Heinlein once said, “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” It is a touching thought, but one that is rarely seen. Back to the concept of faking happiness; it is easy to tell someone, “If you’re happy, then I’m happy,” but what happens when you really mean it? Could you honestly say that you would go to the ends of the earth for your significant other? Would you offer your coat, even if it meant you would be cold? Would you give your food, even if it meant you would be hungry? Would you stand in between your love and a gun, even if it meant you would lose your life?

For many, the answer is “no.” When push comes to shove, too many people fall short and disappoint. Too many people put up a good front, and then tuck tail and run when the going gets tough. We can wonder and speculate as to why so many relationships fail. We can guess at the reasons that so few people are happy. Many people get everything they ask for in their relationship, and sometimes even take it. You have to wonder how you can still be unhappy, when you get the things you want from the relationship, but there is still an empty space where the happiness should be.

You can take all you want, but the only way to fill the void, is to give, and to truly want to give.

Happiness and love are found in living your life for another. When we give, we find that the things we receive in return are far better than what we can take. Love given is far sweeter than love taken, and when we give, we can fully understand what it is to receive. When you can look into someone’s eyes, asking for nothing, and receiving everything… when you can look at someone and truly see them, you will have found what it is to give…

… and in that way, you will also have received.